Wouldn't it be great if everything ran as planned, smoothly and on schedule? If unexpected layoffs weren't a possibility, and if we weren't subject to illness? If kids weren't exposed to crude messages via classmates and media? If natural disasters simply didn't occur? And if our hearts weren't broken time and time again?
Every family encounters crises—those moments in which our choices either move our family in an upward direction or create additional, perhaps more serious, problems to address. Crisis is best viewed as an opportunity paired with danger; as the term implies our response to these moments are critical to our further success.
"In their efforts to understand diverse family responses to stressful events, family scholars have used the ABCX model developed by Reuben Hill (1958). Hill (1949) began his work by studying the stress endured by families during war. He developed the ABCX family crisis model to try to account for differential success in coping. In essence, A is the stressor event and the hardships it produces. B is the management of the stress through coping resources that the family has. Since an important aspect of the impact of stress is the way in which the stressful situations is defined, C refers to the family's definition of the event. A, B, and C interact to produce X, the crisis.
For example, let us say that two families, the Smiths and the Joneses, face the stressor of unemployment (A). The Smiths define it as undesirable but also as a challenge (C), and they decide that each family member will try to find work and will do something to save money (B). The interacton of these three produces no serious crisis for them (X). The Joneses, on the other hand, define the event as a disaster (C). They expect the father to find a new job immediately and to do something to avoid any serious change in their lifestyle (B). The interaction of these three is a crisis (X)." (Lauer, R. H., Lauer, J. C. (2012) Marriage & Family: the quest for intimacy 8th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
As we can see from this example, the intensity of our crises are based upon how we define and react to the stressors in our lives. This is the key to whether crises make or break a family. Our coping patterns can unite family members as well as pull them apart. We will go over a few different coping patterns that fall under the three categories illustrated below which determine the outcomes of family crises.
Ineffective Coping Patterns (#2 & 3): Denial, avoidance, and scapegoating.
Effective Coping Patterns (#1): Taking responsibility, affirming your own and your family's worth, balance self-concern with other-concern, learning the art of reframing, and finding/using available resources.
The wonderful thing about life is that although sometimes things don't turn out quite as we expect them to, they turn out beautifully when we rely on God.
Every family encounters crises—those moments in which our choices either move our family in an upward direction or create additional, perhaps more serious, problems to address. Crisis is best viewed as an opportunity paired with danger; as the term implies our response to these moments are critical to our further success.
"In their efforts to understand diverse family responses to stressful events, family scholars have used the ABCX model developed by Reuben Hill (1958). Hill (1949) began his work by studying the stress endured by families during war. He developed the ABCX family crisis model to try to account for differential success in coping. In essence, A is the stressor event and the hardships it produces. B is the management of the stress through coping resources that the family has. Since an important aspect of the impact of stress is the way in which the stressful situations is defined, C refers to the family's definition of the event. A, B, and C interact to produce X, the crisis.
For example, let us say that two families, the Smiths and the Joneses, face the stressor of unemployment (A). The Smiths define it as undesirable but also as a challenge (C), and they decide that each family member will try to find work and will do something to save money (B). The interacton of these three produces no serious crisis for them (X). The Joneses, on the other hand, define the event as a disaster (C). They expect the father to find a new job immediately and to do something to avoid any serious change in their lifestyle (B). The interaction of these three is a crisis (X)." (Lauer, R. H., Lauer, J. C. (2012) Marriage & Family: the quest for intimacy 8th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
As we can see from this example, the intensity of our crises are based upon how we define and react to the stressors in our lives. This is the key to whether crises make or break a family. Our coping patterns can unite family members as well as pull them apart. We will go over a few different coping patterns that fall under the three categories illustrated below which determine the outcomes of family crises.
Ineffective Coping Patterns (#2 & 3): Denial, avoidance, and scapegoating.
Effective Coping Patterns (#1): Taking responsibility, affirming your own and your family's worth, balance self-concern with other-concern, learning the art of reframing, and finding/using available resources.
The wonderful thing about life is that although sometimes things don't turn out quite as we expect them to, they turn out beautifully when we rely on God.
"Each of us will have our own Fridays -- those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death -- Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come."
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
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